And now for: Hedge

Two of the Board -- Smiffus and Sexual Chocolate -- will be outta town this week, having mad Carolina adventures, so I will be The Board of Director, singular, for one week. Join me, and together, we can decide which America we belong to: The Industrial Loneliness of the Vacuum Cleaner Salesman, or the Hedge Groomed to Resemble a Burrito. My friend, Bobby Mason, was in a hedge, once. I wound up in that very hedge, after the cops chased me and some other folks at the mall, (long story), but Bobby was, like, **in the hedge,** he had been there for a while, and was planning to stay there for a while. Scared the bejeebus outta me. He may or may not have had some hallucinogens. Who knows? I sure don't. None of this ever happened and Drink & Walk is the tallest tale I know.

Join me for some tall-tale-telling this week, at 6:00, at the pub known as Angles. I will be there until 9:00 and likely thereafter, but if you plan to arrive late, lemme know, yo, and we can get a group together, antagonize some cops, and jump in the nearest hedge. Drinkers & Walkers of 103.10 -- if you're around -- let's see you this Thursday at some point, huh? Otherwise, rock on, and remember: Drink & Walk Wants You to Want Drink & Walk: "I drink & walk to walk you // I drink & walk to drink you // I walk & walk to walk you // I drink & drink to drink you." etc. Fuff. ---------Blood And

Can of Corn

REAGAN/T '08 & FIFE/OBAMA '08

The drought has crept up on our haircuts and our thrift and our biopics and our epsom salts. We have all kinds of wilt out there. Wilt thou go to the corner store for a can of corn, for example. And if everything isn't drought then everything is a can of corn. You have those two poles to consider. It's possible that a can of corn would attract a drought and vicey versey, if you made a case for opposites attract. The can of corn making sweet love to the drought beneath the oleander. The drought breaking up with the can of corn because it wants to spend more time on itself. Everything is thirsty, Jack. Your dungarees, dioramas, treatises, and marine predator scenarios. All thirsty.

Quench that thirst. Join me, Smiffus, and our Star Emeritus for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that leaves you nice and, uh, hydrated. Too, you know, we talk about stuff. Such as politics. Our experts tell us to anticipate a matchup between the Fife/Obama ticket and Reagan/T ticket. I pity the fool who don't vote for Reagan/T and I pity the fool who don't attend Drink & Walk on Thursday.

ALL STAR REVUE

Join me, Mr. Smiffus, and Star Emeritus, aka The Board of Directors, for the Drink & Walk Glee Contest and All Star Revue. Those who show the most Glee will be named All Stars and then will be asked to Revue the parameters of the diameters of the pentameters. i.e., They will put the ugly fish out by the propane in a laundry basket after they've hit it with a stick. That's how you tell real happy hours. By the number of fish hit with a stick. "Get the lights."

What do you need to know? Jack nabbit -- in this "nuanced land" (hah!) we call America. But it wouldn't hurt to be aware of this: Drink & Walk will begin afresh Thursday at 6:00 at the drinking hell, I mean hole, known as Acutes, er, Rights, er, Obtuses, er, Angles. Bring your penchant for geometry and those can do attitudes, folks. Drink & Walk: Where Legends Are Born. Hope to see you then. ----D., Blood and, G.

A Special Message From Drink & Walk ---- NATIONAL VELVEETA

It's my turn to vacation, and I will be out of town this coming Thursday through next Tuesday. The Smiffus will be back in town this Wednesday, along with our Star Emeritus, and they may be available for Drink & Walk. I haven't heard from them, out in Hill Country, so I don't know what their preferences will be. For those who may want to meet up for a Thursday drink, I'd suggest you get in touch directly with either The Smiffus or Star Emeritus and work it out. But I guess, otherwise, with little else to go on, we'd have to take a second week off. Still, all in all, this means a triumphant return to Drinking & Walking for Thursday July 12. In the meantime, I wish you all a fabulous Fourth of July and a great weekend. See you all in a little bitteen. --- Blood And