Tuesday, March 27, 2007

[dumpster] device

Ladies and Gents,

The Questions of Life often boil down to Who's in a dumpster, and why? You've got your Norwegian in a dumpster, you've got your Nader voter, Roto Rooter, Jews for Jesus, gnarly dudes, namby pambies, a white man in tightie whities and lipstick in a dumpster, you've got your everyday spiders and your once-a-month reptiles, you've got your Dumpster Watchers -- J-Lo, Don Ho, Ho Jo, Slow Mo, MoJo -- with binoculars and coffee, you got your Sandy Berger, Caspar Weinberger, Lawrence Eagleburger, you got your Dick Nixon, Dick Cheney, Dick Armey, i.e., an Armey of Dicks. All in a dumpster. Armed to the teeth. The ATF massing with tanks, flamethrowers, stink bombs, and Crack Creme. Don't, my friends, let that happen to you. Rage against that machine.

Instead, leave your dumpster behind and join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Kathy McAuliffe for another edition of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that is lobbying Congress to amend the old cliche. In place of "Down in the dumps" we will be pushing for "Down in the dumpsters" -- to be the official Kind of Blue cliche of the American People. God Bless Our Dumpsters And Our Trans Fat.

Many of you know the drill -- We will be meeting at Angles, this Thursday, from 6:00 to 9:30 p.m., at which point, we will, collectively, select a second locale. For sure, folks, this week, we will stay out on the town. Shake your money-maker? AWWWYEAH. If you can't make it to Angles by 9:30 and want to meet us after hours, please email me for my cell phone number. We hope to see you out and about! (Directions are below).

Friday, March 23, 2007

Lap Ham Device

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Aauugghhh La La!

Ladies and Gents,

It is spring outside, and you can tell that by the number of people who are popping, at random, about 10 feet into the air. It's pretty exhilarating (sp?) if it hasn't happened to you yet. You pull about 10-G's, and scream "Aaauugghh!" in Chinese, for example, Aramaic, French, or Welsh, although in French it's more like "Aauugghhh La La!" What this really brings to mind, however, is the severe lack, in our society, of true spontaneity, that really comes from within. We think that everything must be scripted. i.e., "We must make sweet sweet love under the oleander precisely when the sun dips behind the thoughtful brow of the blue mountain." Pffffttthhht. Yeahright. I mean, come on, if there was no spontaneity, then Stevie Nicks would've never had her roadies blowing tabasco sauce up her butt. And then we might never have heard "Leather and Lace," uh, fo shizzle.

We, at Drink & Walk, believe in the notion of Choose Your Own Adventure, and so, we continue the recent tradition of meeting at Angles, this Thursday, from 6 to 9:30 p.m., and then deciding on one or more secondary destinations. Any secondary locale(s) surely involve(s) Drink & Walk, but could involve Guzzle & Dance, as well. We may "shake our moneymakers," as the old song goes. Thus, please join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Diane Copeland for another edition of the Happy Hours with the most. The weather is just right, folks, for you to embark on that special voyage, and we encourage you to spend a few hours with us. Want to meet us after hours? Gimme a ring. If you don't have the number, ask me for it, and I shall provide.

Check our blog bor periodic updates: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ We look forward to seeing you!

Directions to Angles:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

xo, Dan Gutstein

Monday, March 12, 2007

don't take any wooden nickels!

There will be no Drink & Walk this week -- owing to spring break at both GW and Mason and travel schedules, etc., of myself, Mnsr. Smith, and Mlle Nichols.

However, if any of you are at loose ends out there, give me a call or drop me an email and maybe we can hang out this week. I will tell you of my latest schemes, which include Turkey, the country, (thanks Lorraine!), among other things.

There's also a Thursday night reading up at Georgetown, the poetry of Yusef Komyunakaa, if I've spelt that right. Beers at The Tombs beforehand? Dancing and gateway drugs afterwards?

Too: I can publicly announce that my month-long concussion is now over. For those of you who don't know, a big dude (250-275lbs?) tried to jump me a month ago, (for my wallet), a struggle ensued, and we were both injured. All is well, now, though, according to Fishman The Physician. Fishman did say, however, that I shouldn't have been exercising and drinking in that time. Hmm.

Keep on fighting the good fight and don't take any wooden nickels!

xo, Dan

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Ladies and Gents,

It has been the Worm Moon recently, the full moon that typically accompanies balmier March temperatures (yeahright!), and thaws in the icy earth, during which, the worms emerge from months of tunneling deep underground. But this is an outdated piece of lore, I think, because what really happens during early March full moons is that Everywhere Pomeranian is drawn out of the ATM machine at the falafel joint. A cop tries to arrest all of us with a Peppermint Pattie instead of a badge. And lightning, if experienced in a controlled environment, such as the cab of a pickup truck traveling through the lonely midnights of North Cackalacky, can actually get you stoned. You'll pull off the highway for five bags of Cheetohs and see everything in that night vision military grainy-green. Indeed, folks, it's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World -- ever see that movie? Well, it only gets shown during the first week of March.

At Drink & Walk, we are trying to give the first full moon in March a new name: Let's call it the Pomeranian $20 Yipyap Mint Chocolate Bust You Lightning Bake Out Sid Caesar Moon, and I feel that this would be most accurate. To celebrate all the nuances of the lunar cycle, hoist a drink with me, Dan Gutstein, this Thursday, from 6:00 to 9:00 at Angles. If we have critical mass at 9:00 or so, we will decide on another watering hole to visit, or our name ain't Drink & Walk, damn it. Note that this week, Rod Smith and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols will be on special assignment in Georgetown.