Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Can of Corn




REAGAN/T '08 & FIFE/OBAMA '08
The drought has crept up on our haircuts and our thrift and our biopics and our epsom salts. We have all kinds of wilt out there. Wilt thou go to the corner store for a can of corn, for example. And if everything isn't drought then everything is a can of corn. You have those two poles to consider. It's possible that a can of corn would attract a drought and vicey versey, if you made a case for opposites attract. The can of corn making sweet love to the drought beneath the oleander. The drought breaking up with the can of corn because it wants to spend more time on itself. Everything is thirsty, Jack. Your dungarees, dioramas, treatises, and marine predator scenarios. All thirsty.

Quench that thirst. Join me, Smiffus, and our Star Emeritus for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that leaves you nice and, uh, hydrated. Too, you know, we talk about stuff. Such as politics. Our experts tell us to anticipate a matchup between the Fife/Obama ticket and Reagan/T ticket. I pity the fool who don't vote for Reagan/T and I pity the fool who don't attend Drink & Walk on Thursday.

7 Comments:

Blogger DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Are all of these people alive? I mean Barney Fife/Mr. Furley -- did he pass away? If so, is there any law in the constitution preventing this ticket from going forward? BA

10:03 AM

 
Blogger mark wallace said...

Don Knotts has indeed kicked the bucket. However, I think a dead person has a great shot against a live person in this next presidential election. Almost certainly I would vote for the dead person, were one to be running.

Elect the dead in 2008!

10:34 AM

 
Blogger DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

to take that one step further, i think the democrats are going to need some dead **voters** to wrest control of the white house in '08. but otherwise, yes, the Fife/Obama ticket is the best shot we've got. BA

10:49 AM

 
Blogger DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

oh, the youtube mr. t video is the poop. thanks, torp. ba

10:51 AM

 
Blogger mark wallace said...

I'm telling you quite seriously, dead voters were a regular feature of American elections all through the 19th century.

2:12 PM

 
Blogger DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

Which of the Democrat candidates is ahead among dead voters, at this point in time? It might not be who you think. My money would be on an old timer like Biden or Dodd. This constituency could be important in a fractured convention. BA

2:23 PM

 
Blogger mark wallace said...

Keep in mind that when dead people vote, someone's got to pull the lever for them. So the conventional wisdom holds; Democrats do better among the dead in urban areas and blue states. But more importantly, it's all about money and access to local records. Hillary currently holds the lead in dead voters among Democrats. But the Obama camp is well on its way to trying to line up more of the dead vote. I'm sure they're collecting names as we speak.

4:07 PM

 

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