I seem to have forgotten my wallet.

Ladies and Gents,

What do immature wild animals, Murphy beds, and international erogenous zones have in common? Well, it just so happens that wild animals are becoming more and more immature. Stuff like: Deer, hanging out, in the woods, farting in each other's antlers, and blaming it on other species. It's ridiculous, but any more ridiculous than a bed that falls out of a cabinet? It's a cabinet, and then -- look out! -- here comes down, nearly upon you, legs and a mattress. There should be some standards governing that rude surprise, as there should be international treaties governing erogenous zones. We should urge our government, immediately, to enter into GLOBEZ, the GLOBal Erogenous Zones Protocol, a necessary treaty that establishes global erogenous zones ---- those of Eurasia, Oceania, and Gondwanaland, for instance. The U.S. would likely enter into NAGLOBEZ, or the North American GLOBEZ, which would emphasize, we are told, the left medial doughnut, the anterior cruciate giblet, and all things "bikini," "eenie meanie," and "tangerini."

Drink & Walk has long been a secret erogenous zone of sorts ---- where you can find good drinks and good cheer, starting at 6:00 p.m. this Thursday, April 12th, at the establishment known as Angles, in Adams Morgan. Join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Michelle Gonzalez for another round of the happy hours with the most immature wild animals. Yes, we have no Murphy beds, but we do know the joke that starts: There was a priest, a rabbi, and a Murphy bed. At 9:30, if critical mass exists, we will determine a secondary site, and migrate accordingly. We look forward to seeing you there!



------ Dan Gutstein