Tuesday, April 03, 2007

explore your carbohydrate needs


Ladies and Gents,

What is a doughnut and what is a doughnut not? Most people have a right medial doughnut and an anterior cruciate doughnut. If you do not have one or the other doughnuts, see your healthcare provider immediately. There is such a thing as a blue doughnut but that blue doughnut is not a sharpie marker. I mean, you can draw with your blue doughnut, but it will not be permanent. Most doughnuts do not know sorrow though I have seen many Cheshire doughnuts that, when half-eaten, have smiled, and then disappeared. A doughnut is not a jukebox, but there was this one doughnut, once, that sang the Polish national anthem and my eyes watered, even as I ate that doughnut, even as it wasn't the only doughnut, that day, that I ate. If you are George Stephanopoulos (aka Geo Steph), then your doughnut may come with a middle finger.

We encourage you, as you can see, to explore your carbohydrate needs before, during, and after Drink & Walk. Other options include empa-nya-das, falafels, and Jumbo Slice. Better yet: Go to Jumbo Slice and order doughnuts. Go to falafels and order venison. Go to empa-nya-das and order Ikea. I mean, I've gotten Wendy's at Taco Bell, and I've gotten Entenmann's at the bank. Whatever you choose, join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Lynne Burns for another edition of Drink & Walk, the happy hour with many "drunk food" options. And if you're lucky, you'll come across Geo Steph, "commentraitor," and your "eff finger" can go up. Do I speak from personal experience? Maybe so, maybe so.

We will be at Angles from 6:00 to 9:30, this Thursday, April 5th, and at 9:30, if critical mass exists, we will decide on a second site. We hope to see you there -- and even as cold weather is predicted, remember folks: A drink will "warm the cockles of your heart."

8 Comments:

Blogger mark wallace said...

Quite seriously, last week I and several others stepped into the porno doughnut shop in downtown Portland. It wasn't as interesting as it might have been.

1:49 PM

 
Blogger ITV said...

"yeah but you should see how they make 'em!" [ba-dum-dum!]

3:13 PM

 
Blogger Maria said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:43 PM

 
Blogger DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

last week, i gave george stepha.... the middle finger in the fractured prune doughnut shop on p street. the middle finger was six inches from his face and he was stunned. BA

10:43 AM

 
Blogger mark wallace said...

Yeah, but what are you doing about the people who are REALLY the problem?

9:36 AM

 
Blogger DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

well, he really WAS the problem. plus i had a chance to tell him so, which i did. come on, man, it was, maybe, my best moment ever. BA

10:20 AM

 
Blogger mark wallace said...

I want a revolution, damnit. How come I'm not getting a revolution? Drink & Walk promised me a revolution. And here I am, not drinking and not walking. Where's the justice? Oh, where's the justice?

10:25 AM

 
Blogger DAN / DANIEL GUTSTEIN said...

i hear that you can buy a product that sprays a lifelike turd out of a spraycan, and this happened at the big hunt recently and there was a riot. people with artificial stinky replica dumps on them going wild. new tv reality show: EXTREME ARTIFICIAL FECES PRANKS. oh yeah, that's america, all right. BA

11:29 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home