The economic theory of Perfect Competition suggests that a given market can support a vast number of similar enterprises and that such enterprises will always sell the same goods at the same price. Consider the market for Jumbo Slice slices of pizza. Indeed, on 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, one can order an Original Jumbo Slice, a Jumbo Slice, and what, a Double Secret Fabulous Jumbo Slice. They are all bigger than your head and cost two bits, do the Jumbo Slices. The theory suggests that we will see many more Jumbo Slices. Serious Ass Jumbo Slice. Long Republican Winter Jumbo Slice. Mumbo Jumbo's Jumbo Slice (Boomlay boomlay boomlay boom.) Fenty's Jumbo Slice. Marion Barry Jumbo Slice Weekend. That, or everything will become Jumbo: Jumbo Asylum, Jumbo Diner, Jumbo Meskerem, Jumbo Grill, er, Girl From Ipanema. Until it will be Jumbo America and we will have to load all the shotguns, grab all the brisket we can carry, and head for the hills.

Before we head for the hills, let us, this Thursday, instead, wish Poet, Translator and International Man of Intrigue, Generous Sir Hot Rod, The Legend, Stuff, Snuffy, D'Edge SmithSmithSmith ---- a Jumbo Birthday. So join him, me, Steph Monte, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for another edition of Jumbo Drink & Walk. Miscellany will ensue. There will be the usual toasts, banter, backclaps, drunken confessions, and beery optimisms. But mostly, we will celebrate the coolest cat we know, Mr. Smith, and we will Drink, Yea, We Will Walk In The Valley Of The Alley Of Our Pally. Or our name ain't Drink & Walk.