Severe B.O. Alert for the Greater Washington Metropolitan Area

Ladies and Gents,

The National Weather Service has issued a Severe B.O. Alert for the Greater Washington Metropolitan Area through Thursday night. This will affect pedestrians the most, especially when they encounter feral street kids or feral street adults. Severe B.O. can cause temporary blindness, switches in political sympathy(ies), and the sensation that one is putting on a costume--mask, flippers, trident, thunderbolt--for unknown reasons. Most people should avoid B.O. when they see it coming. However, if you have a relative or good friend who is not responding to shock treatment, bamboo slivers under the fingernails, or the dreaded water torture, you are, under these circumstances, encouraged to seek out B.O., in order to win back your loved one's attentions and affections. However, do this only in the presence of a trained B.O. professional: aka a barback, a community service aide, or a squeegee man. Do not try this at home by yourself. In the event of severe B.O. exposure, dial 911 immediately and say "B.O."

Due to the increased levels of B.O., we will be holding neither a Drink nor a Drink & Walk this Weds./Thurs. Perhaps if B.O. levels were to drop next week, we'll be back at it.

In the meantime, visit our blog for an update on EVERYWHERE MAN: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ Hint: He is one of the two blurry figures. True connoisseurs will know who is EVERYWHERE MAN and who is merely a man.