welcome to drink & walk

10 reasons (+2) to hold your birthday celebration at Drink & Walk:

1. After the third or fourth drink, it's everybody's birthday.
2. Complimentary tittie twisters -- one for each year you've been on this planet.
3. Real, genuine regulars will genuinely regulate their stools on your birthday.
4. Real, genuine irregulars will, at irregular intervals, pontificate on the regularity of their needs.
5. If it is lonely in its glass, someone will be designated to make out with -- i.e., French kiss -- your beer.
6. We won't have any candles to light, but we will light as many cigarettes as years you are old.
7. In the process of blowing out your birthday cigarettes, you may, uh, shoot the "cherries" of said cigarettes out the window, into Everywhere Man's hair, onto Everywhere Moped, into a leetle patch of dirt, where it will root and grow a cigarette tree: Pallmallis Hightarris Youva-Come-A-Longawayis-Babychiliensis.
8. Oh yes there *is* such a thing as Everywhere Moped, though it is *not* captained by Everywhere Man, who is, first and foremost, a biped in his endeavors.
9. You will get so "high" in the classical sense of the word that you will be required to say "I taught I taw a twitty bird" as many times as years you are old.
10. We can sing birthday songs, we can pour the traditional birthday beverage over your head, and we can change into our birthday suits!
11. Note: There will be no, I repeat *no* massive spreading of peanut butter; sure, there can be isolated spreadings of peanut butter, but the only thing we can spread on a massive scale is nutella.
12. There is no 12.

For some serious birthday antics, please join us for Drink & Walk. After a few drinks it'll be your birthday, too. Drink & Walk: Where It's Your Birthday Every Week. Indeed, some of us Drink & Walk stalwarts are entering our seventies and eighties, already, proving, once again, that mankind is returning to biblical lifespans. Don't let it be five score and fifty ought millennia before you join us.