Drink & Walk

If it's not Merry, well fck it

2007-12-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

Hello all, & happy merry etc. We have us here the first Drink & Walk invite in quite a while. We shall be gathering tomorrow night at 7 PM at Ye Olde Angles. That's actually just Angles actually, mayhaps for the season it should in fact be Ye Olde, but it's not. Or so they would have us believe. She then approached me about buying her desk. So come along as Mr Mark Wallace is a 100% show-up and show-off candidate, & our nationwide pre-drink & pre-walk polls show a startling coincidence in that one Thomas Orange is at exactly 90% in the likelihood department for both drinking and walking. We shall welcome them back to DC for the Holiday happening they are have been and are constituted by.

That's 7 PM at Angles for good cheer(s). I, The Deed-doer, her very own Star Emeritus, and the one the only Blood& shall also be in attendance. So come on out & dance.

Angles is located at 18th Street & Belmont in Adams Morgan. Right there.

Black Cat 8 PM 11/1

2007-10-31T13:53:00.001-07:00

Drink & Walk returns to Black Cat this Thursday at 8 PM. Come along as we bibe and imbibe, bribe and are bribed, sing songs of lucid fates, and fritter away the waning whatsis. Don't miss it! How could you miss a waning whatsis! We at Drink & Walk have got what ya need: good food, good booze, &, um, a waning whatsis. Etc.

See ya there!

This is what you get when you google image "waning whatsis."

No Drink & Walk this week

2007-09-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

No Drink & Walk this week. Sorry folks. Drink ye & walk ye though, we'll be back soon.

2007-08-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Join us, the lucky people, for another edition of drink & walk.

Please join us at Cafe Olé at 7 PM for fine beverages and a lovely dining experience, like they say. We will likely be making use of the big outdoor patio and Flash the Basset Hound will be there!

Cafe Olé is just down Wisconsin Ave from the Tenley Metro, 4000
Wisconsin Ave, just across from the Friendship Heights Post Office.

If you are having desires of further informations about this here cafe go to:
http://cafeoledc.com/contactus.html

Mapquest says the driving time from Tenely Metro to Cafe
Olé is 2 minutes. So overcome your fear, Olé!

Olé!

2007-08-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

Drink & Walk goes Mediterranean this week. Please join us at Cafe Olé
at 7 PM for fine beverages and a lovely dining experience, like they
say. We will likely be making use of the big outdoor patio and Flash
the Basset Hound will be there!

Cafe Olé is just down Wisconsin Ave from the Tenley Metro, 4000
Wisconsin Ave, just across from the Friendship Heights Post Office.

If you are having desires of further informations about this here cafe go to:
http://cafeoledc.com/contactus.html

It's got that European charm which doesn't mean you shouldn't bring
your European charm, if you have one, we'd like to see it. I have a
Turkish good luck charm for example. I use it to confuse American
legislators. Mapquest says the driving time from Tenely Metro to Cafe
Olé is 2 minutes. So overcome your fear, Olé!

cuz I can shake a chicken in the middle of the room!

2007-08-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

Join us this Thursday for Drink & Walk at the Zoo Bar @ 7PM.

Bop bop a loo bop ba lop bop bam -- D&W shall honor 30 years of Dead
E'vis this week, where else, at the Zoo, acourse. Join us at the Zoo
Bar to toast The King, long live the mayonaise, etc. The Zoo Bar's
just a hop from Woodley stop on the red line, we'll be there from 7 pm
on. So come on out cuz "We can shake a chicken in the middle of the
room!"

Drink & Walk is evolving in a new direction, we'll be trying new
locations, innovations, associations-- our beloved Angles is still on
the map acourse, as is, even ye olde Black Cat. Stay tuned for further
incidents.

The Zoo Bar is located at 3000 Connecticut Avenue, N.W. , Washington D.C. 20008 (Directly across from the main entrance to the Washington National Zoo). (202) 232-4225. http://www.zoobardc.com/

We leave you with a few favorite Elvis quotes:

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

A person's eyes tell you more than their words I'm sort of getting
tired of being Elvis Presley.

People who read sex into my music have dirty minds.

CHOP SUEY!!!

2007-08-08T12:08:00.001-07:00

BRUCE LEE is The Bomb.

Ladies and Gents,

Let me set the scene. A reluctant girlfriend is arguing with her boyfriend outside an embassy a few blocks from my apartment building. He is sort of tugging on her arm and she is resisting, although she knows two things: (1) this dude is a tool; and (2) I'll probably go with him anyway. But the situation is not an assault or anything like that. Nevertheless, a middle aged man with a conservative haircut jumps ---- literally ---- out of nowhere, out of two big white doors, onto the sidewalk, into a martial arts fighting stance, with a major grimace on his face, and yells, in my opinion, "Chop suey!!!" I mean, did he say "Chop suey?" That's what I heard. "Chop suey!!!!"

The question really is ---- Are good samaritans intervening in tame domestic disputes by shouting their favorite food item? Do Poles jump out of doors shouting "Kielbasa!!!" Do Jews jump out of doors screaming "Noodle Ring!!!" Do Russians leap out of doors going "Borscht!!!" Do French shout "Crepes!!!" do English shout "Brown sauce!!!" do Japanese shout "Sushi!!!" when breaking up a lover's quarrel? What the hell ever happened to "Get your god damn hands off her!" Or: "Cut it out!" Or: "I'm calling the cops!" Only in America, with our collective waist lines bulging, do we distract such people with thoughts of food. I'd rather shout "Beer" or "Tanqueray and tonic" myself. Why not meet us ---- The Board of Directors ---- this week at Drink & Walk, at Angles, at 7:30 and shout [Your favorite drink] in a martial arts fighting stance? And we'll stop tugging on whomever we're tugging on.

Charm City

2007-08-01T10:41:00.000-07:00

I come to you, today, from Charm City -- Bawlmer, Md. -- City of Junk & Junkies, Flunk & Flunkies, Punk & Li'l Punkins, Funk & Funky Ones, and the Majestic, but Vanishing, Oriole -- at the (temporary) desk of my new digs, at MICA, to hold forth on the status of Drink & Walkie Talkies.

We will be meeting this week, at 7:30, at Angles, until? Given the fact that I, myself, am commuting to Baltimore these days, I will not be at Drink & Walk too, too long this week, but I will be there for a bitteen. Holding down the fort otherwise will be Poet, Translator, and International Man of Intrigue, Generous Sir Hot Rod SmithSmith Smith -- and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols. Join us if you can. -----D, B.A.,G

And now for: Hedge

2007-07-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

Two of the Board -- Smiffus and Sexual Chocolate -- will be outta town this week, having mad Carolina adventures, so I will be The Board of Director, singular, for one week. Join me, and together, we can decide which America we belong to: The Industrial Loneliness of the Vacuum Cleaner Salesman, or the Hedge Groomed to Resemble a Burrito. My friend, Bobby Mason, was in a hedge, once. I wound up in that very hedge, after the cops chased me and some other folks at the mall, (long story), but Bobby was, like, **in the hedge,** he had been there for a while, and was planning to stay there for a while. Scared the bejeebus outta me. He may or may not have had some hallucinogens. Who knows? I sure don't. None of this ever happened and Drink & Walk is the tallest tale I know.

Join me for some tall-tale-telling this week, at 6:00, at the pub known as Angles. I will be there until 9:00 and likely thereafter, but if you plan to arrive late, lemme know, yo, and we can get a group together, antagonize some cops, and jump in the nearest hedge. Drinkers & Walkers of 103.10 -- if you're around -- let's see you this Thursday at some point, huh? Otherwise, rock on, and remember: Drink & Walk Wants You to Want Drink & Walk: "I drink & walk to walk you // I drink & walk to drink you // I walk & walk to walk you // I drink & drink to drink you." etc. Fuff. ---------Blood And

Can of Corn

2007-07-17T09:52:00.001-07:00

REAGAN/T '08 & FIFE/OBAMA '08

The drought has crept up on our haircuts and our thrift and our biopics and our epsom salts. We have all kinds of wilt out there. Wilt thou go to the corner store for a can of corn, for example. And if everything isn't drought then everything is a can of corn. You have those two poles to consider. It's possible that a can of corn would attract a drought and vicey versey, if you made a case for opposites attract. The can of corn making sweet love to the drought beneath the oleander. The drought breaking up with the can of corn because it wants to spend more time on itself. Everything is thirsty, Jack. Your dungarees, dioramas, treatises, and marine predator scenarios. All thirsty.

Quench that thirst. Join me, Smiffus, and our Star Emeritus for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that leaves you nice and, uh, hydrated. Too, you know, we talk about stuff. Such as politics. Our experts tell us to anticipate a matchup between the Fife/Obama ticket and Reagan/T ticket. I pity the fool who don't vote for Reagan/T and I pity the fool who don't attend Drink & Walk on Thursday.

ALL STAR REVUE

2007-07-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

Join me, Mr. Smiffus, and Star Emeritus, aka The Board of Directors, for the Drink & Walk Glee Contest and All Star Revue. Those who show the most Glee will be named All Stars and then will be asked to Revue the parameters of the diameters of the pentameters. i.e., They will put the ugly fish out by the propane in a laundry basket after they've hit it with a stick. That's how you tell real happy hours. By the number of fish hit with a stick. "Get the lights."

What do you need to know? Jack nabbit -- in this "nuanced land" (hah!) we call America. But it wouldn't hurt to be aware of this: Drink & Walk will begin afresh Thursday at 6:00 at the drinking hell, I mean hole, known as Acutes, er, Rights, er, Obtuses, er, Angles. Bring your penchant for geometry and those can do attitudes, folks. Drink & Walk: Where Legends Are Born. Hope to see you then. ----D., Blood and, G.

A Special Message From Drink & Walk ---- NATIONAL VELVEETA

2007-07-02T16:26:00.000-07:00

It's my turn to vacation, and I will be out of town this coming Thursday through next Tuesday. The Smiffus will be back in town this Wednesday, along with our Star Emeritus, and they may be available for Drink & Walk. I haven't heard from them, out in Hill Country, so I don't know what their preferences will be. For those who may want to meet up for a Thursday drink, I'd suggest you get in touch directly with either The Smiffus or Star Emeritus and work it out. But I guess, otherwise, with little else to go on, we'd have to take a second week off. Still, all in all, this means a triumphant return to Drinking & Walking for Thursday July 12. In the meantime, I wish you all a fabulous Fourth of July and a great weekend. See you all in a little bitteen. --- Blood And

Welcome to General Tso

2007-06-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

Many of you know about General Tso's Chicken, but what about the man himself? According to sources, he did fight in the Taiping Rebellion, frequently committing to battle his crack General Tso's Hell's Angels, who rode onto the battlefield in horsedrawn Harley Davidson Motorcycles. In fact, Harley Davidson, himself, had a chicken recipe, and it's anyone's guess as to why Harley Davidson's Chicken is not served in Chinese restaurants on a bed of grits and gravy. General Tso was also a philanthropist, establishing General Tso's House for Wayward Souls, and he contributed to any number of other fields, including the cutting edge General Tso's Monsoon Rating System, General Tso's Breakback Beats, and General Tso's Extreme Amphibian Videos. We have never seriously considered any corporate sponsorship of Drink & Walk, but the Board of Directors did consider, for, what, a minute or two, the phrase General Tso's Drink & Walk.

Given that 2/3 of the Board of Directors, aka Smiffus and Melsy Welsy, will be outta town this week, Drink & Walk will be hibernating this Thursday. However, should you desire to Drink and/or Walk, or if you know where there is *superior* General Tso's Chicken, well, then, drop me a line, and I'll see if I can coordinate, ordinate, and rewardinate. I otherwise encourage you to remember that a man and a woman and a summer are one.

welcome to drink & walk

2007-06-05T16:37:00.001-07:00

beneath the baobab

2007-05-30T22:54:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

Lions are losing the predator/prey battle more often than at any time in the history of nature. They are being beaten by buffalo, monitor lizards, crocodiles, extreme mongooses, and extreme ibises. What does this mean, in human terms? Simply, the lion is no longer in charge. There is, what I'd call, Animal Parity. On any given day, any given animal can defeat any given animal, on the plains. Unless that other animal controls the voting machine companies. Or, if you will, the lion is obese. A generation of new lions, unused to the hardships that their forebears endured, cannot tear themselves away from laying beneath the baobab, eating zebra chips, and playing Madden Jungle Devour 2007 ("It's in the game!" (grunt) (tm)). Thus, the other animals are hungrier for "It." And, Whoops There It Is, -- another lion thrown 20 feet into the air.

Drink & Walk, however, is still king of the happy hours. Join The Board of Directors ---- 6:00 p.m. this Thursday at Angles, for another round of the happy hours where the barfly always triumphs over the beer or drinkdrink or glass of wine. We, at Drink & Walk, have never seen the glass of wine, say, turn on the barfly and send him/her running. Of course, we've seen one or two instances of a tequila shot staring down a barfly and if that ---- a standoff! ---- happens to you, just alert one of us on The Board, and we'll drink that shot ourselves, or we ain't The Board of Directors.

ARRRR

2007-05-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

The name of my lover was beer, so I wrote it in the sky.

Ladies and Gents,

I once saw a plane -- a skywriter! -- scribble across the heavens on a clear day, "Mary Me Marry." I guess it's pretty hard to keep track of your spelling when you're up a few thousand feet. Then it got windy, and the letters blew haywire, to the tune of "Rammy Re Arm" and "Yammer Marr" and "Mama Rearry." The pilot then typed out "ARRRR" and flew off; perhaps he had run out of other letters. But, I mean, somebody paid for that. And I'm guessing that Mary cut that somebody a break, or maybe not. Consider this: Everything was riding on that skywriter, and he didn't really know his ABC's. Meaning that some sucker had to chase another girl. I guess the moral (and the morale) of the story is -- Communicate clearly and simply.

That's easy enough at Drink & Walk, where "Beer" usually comes out "Beer" and "DrinkDrink" usually comes out "DrinkDrink." Join The Board of Directors for another edition of the Happy Hours with the simplest communiques, this Thursday at 6:00, starting at Angles, and then migrating elsewhere if critical mass develops throughout the evening. If you come early enough, you will witness the Drink & Walk skywriter attempting the new D&W song: "I drink a drink // and a skip a drink // and when I skip a drink // I drink a beer."

by unanimous vote

2007-05-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

The Board of Directors has met, and has approved, by unanimous vote, the following drinking song: "I drink a drink // and I skip a drink // and when I skip a drink // I drink a beer." It was also approved by unanimous vote that nobody can steal this song. It is ours. If you steal it, we will get Mel's dog, Flash, to yawn, and release a mammoth honeybee that he swallowed last year. This Thursday, the Board of Directors will be taking up the following Issues: (1) Cantaloupe as metaphor; (2) Metaphor as aroma; (3) Aroma as structure; (4) Structure as healthfoods; (5) Healthfoods as cantaloupe; (6) Cantaloupe as a vehicle for change; (7) Melons.

Take up The Issues yourselves, this Thursday, at 6:00 p.m., by joining the Board of Directors, along with Fitz and the Gang, The Late Shift, and our fabulous bartender, Norm, for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that features, on occasion, the Axe Bodywash Girls, the Bass Girls, and various local, national, and international human beings. "If it can drink a drink // and skip a drink // well, then, it's at Drink & Walk." (TM)

2007-05-08T15:30:00.000-07:00

2007-04-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

Drink & Walk will become, in part, Boire et Marcher, this Thursday, as we celebrate, among other things, the birthday of one
Cécile Dehesdin, international student par excellence. We will say, "A vos sante," numerous times, and some will shout "Royal" and others may shout "Sarkozy" and others will shout "Vive la France!" with tears dripping from their red eyes while some brave soul will undoubtedly order La Fin du Monde, from behind the bar, and for that brave man, the world may indeed end. Si il pleut -- no matter, we will be Drinking in the Rain. Si il fait du vent -- no matter, we will be Drinking in the Wind. Si il froid a l'exterieur -- no matter, we will be Drinking if it is Chilly outside. So, come on down and sing "Bonne Anniversaire" -- How old are you? -- You live in a zoo -- and otherwise join us for another round of the happy hours with the most. You can, of course, come on down, and correct my French!

when the clock strikes 6:00

2007-04-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

It is National American Buttock Awareness Week (NABAW), this week. *Not* National Ass Week (NAW), *not* National Orifice Week (NOW), *not* National E-u-freeze-stinky Week (NEW) -- those are other weeks. People are asked, during this period of introspection, to familiarize themselves with the curve of Buttock on a whippet, the underpanty, and allied salves and cremes. When the giant nor'easter washed away all those bridges a few days ago -- ? -- there was a lot of know-how that washed downstream, as well. I mean, who knows how to build another bridge? The nor'easter washed away our know how, folks, and it ain't coming back anytime soon. By now, you all are aware that bees are leaving their hives, and not returning. This is due to cell phone use disrupting their navigation systems, and is, instead, leaving them, disoriented, to beg for pollen in public parks. Flava Flav knows something of this disruption. While shooting a "love-making" scene for Flava of Love, he was beset upon, by an errant swarm of such bees, whilst that clock was banging around, madly, on his chest. "Boyeee!"

When the clock strikes 6:00, this Thursday, join us in Adams Morgan, at Angles, for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that rewards bee-friendly activity -- stinging, buzzing, cross-pollenation -- with highfives, humorous barbs, and, from the bar, any of the various nectars (for a modest fee) you see on display. Think of The Yield, folks -- our apples, and tomatoes, and cucumber, and healthfoods, and citrus zest, and zest, and citrus, and extracts, and flax, and foodstuffs, and extreme oils all withering on the vine / stalk / fence / wall / pole / spare tire, as a result of extreme bee migration during National Buttock Awareness Week. So come on down and drink one for The Yield.

I seem to have forgotten my wallet.

2007-04-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

What do immature wild animals, Murphy beds, and international erogenous zones have in common? Well, it just so happens that wild animals are becoming more and more immature. Stuff like: Deer, hanging out, in the woods, farting in each other's antlers, and blaming it on other species. It's ridiculous, but any more ridiculous than a bed that falls out of a cabinet? It's a cabinet, and then -- look out! -- here comes down, nearly upon you, legs and a mattress. There should be some standards governing that rude surprise, as there should be international treaties governing erogenous zones. We should urge our government, immediately, to enter into GLOBEZ, the GLOBal Erogenous Zones Protocol, a necessary treaty that establishes global erogenous zones ---- those of Eurasia, Oceania, and Gondwanaland, for instance. The U.S. would likely enter into NAGLOBEZ, or the North American GLOBEZ, which would emphasize, we are told, the left medial doughnut, the anterior cruciate giblet, and all things "bikini," "eenie meanie," and "tangerini."

Drink & Walk has long been a secret erogenous zone of sorts ---- where you can find good drinks and good cheer, starting at 6:00 p.m. this Thursday, April 12th, at the establishment known as Angles, in Adams Morgan. Join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Michelle Gonzalez for another round of the happy hours with the most immature wild animals. Yes, we have no Murphy beds, but we do know the joke that starts: There was a priest, a rabbi, and a Murphy bed. At 9:30, if critical mass exists, we will determine a secondary site, and migrate accordingly. We look forward to seeing you there!

------ Dan Gutstein

explore your carbohydrate needs

2007-04-03T13:14:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

What is a doughnut and what is a doughnut not? Most people have a right medial doughnut and an anterior cruciate doughnut. If you do not have one or the other doughnuts, see your healthcare provider immediately. There is such a thing as a blue doughnut but that blue doughnut is not a sharpie marker. I mean, you can draw with your blue doughnut, but it will not be permanent. Most doughnuts do not know sorrow though I have seen many Cheshire doughnuts that, when half-eaten, have smiled, and then disappeared. A doughnut is not a jukebox, but there was this one doughnut, once, that sang the Polish national anthem and my eyes watered, even as I ate that doughnut, even as it wasn't the only doughnut, that day, that I ate. If you are George Stephanopoulos (aka Geo Steph), then your doughnut may come with a middle finger.

We encourage you, as you can see, to explore your carbohydrate needs before, during, and after Drink & Walk. Other options include empa-nya-das, falafels, and Jumbo Slice. Better yet: Go to Jumbo Slice and order doughnuts. Go to falafels and order venison. Go to empa-nya-das and order Ikea. I mean, I've gotten Wendy's at Taco Bell, and I've gotten Entenmann's at the bank. Whatever you choose, join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Lynne Burns for another edition of Drink & Walk, the happy hour with many "drunk food" options. And if you're lucky, you'll come across Geo Steph, "commentraitor," and your "eff finger" can go up. Do I speak from personal experience? Maybe so, maybe so.

We will be at Angles from 6:00 to 9:30, this Thursday, April 5th, and at 9:30, if critical mass exists, we will decide on a second site. We hope to see you there -- and even as cold weather is predicted, remember folks: A drink will "warm the cockles of your heart."

[dumpster] device

2007-03-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

The Questions of Life often boil down to Who's in a dumpster, and why? You've got your Norwegian in a dumpster, you've got your Nader voter, Roto Rooter, Jews for Jesus, gnarly dudes, namby pambies, a white man in tightie whities and lipstick in a dumpster, you've got your everyday spiders and your once-a-month reptiles, you've got your Dumpster Watchers -- J-Lo, Don Ho, Ho Jo, Slow Mo, MoJo -- with binoculars and coffee, you got your Sandy Berger, Caspar Weinberger, Lawrence Eagleburger, you got your Dick Nixon, Dick Cheney, Dick Armey, i.e., an Armey of Dicks. All in a dumpster. Armed to the teeth. The ATF massing with tanks, flamethrowers, stink bombs, and Crack Creme. Don't, my friends, let that happen to you. Rage against that machine.

Instead, leave your dumpster behind and join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Kathy McAuliffe for another edition of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that is lobbying Congress to amend the old cliche. In place of "Down in the dumps" we will be pushing for "Down in the dumpsters" -- to be the official Kind of Blue cliche of the American People. God Bless Our Dumpsters And Our Trans Fat.

Many of you know the drill -- We will be meeting at Angles, this Thursday, from 6:00 to 9:30 p.m., at which point, we will, collectively, select a second locale. For sure, folks, this week, we will stay out on the town. Shake your money-maker? AWWWYEAH. If you can't make it to Angles by 9:30 and want to meet us after hours, please email me for my cell phone number. We hope to see you out and about! (Directions are below).

Lap Ham Device

2007-03-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Aauugghhh La La!

2007-03-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

It is spring outside, and you can tell that by the number of people who are popping, at random, about 10 feet into the air. It's pretty exhilarating (sp?) if it hasn't happened to you yet. You pull about 10-G's, and scream "Aaauugghh!" in Chinese, for example, Aramaic, French, or Welsh, although in French it's more like "Aauugghhh La La!" What this really brings to mind, however, is the severe lack, in our society, of true spontaneity, that really comes from within. We think that everything must be scripted. i.e., "We must make sweet sweet love under the oleander precisely when the sun dips behind the thoughtful brow of the blue mountain." Pffffttthhht. Yeahright. I mean, come on, if there was no spontaneity, then Stevie Nicks would've never had her roadies blowing tabasco sauce up her butt. And then we might never have heard "Leather and Lace," uh, fo shizzle.

We, at Drink & Walk, believe in the notion of Choose Your Own Adventure, and so, we continue the recent tradition of meeting at Angles, this Thursday, from 6 to 9:30 p.m., and then deciding on one or more secondary destinations. Any secondary locale(s) surely involve(s) Drink & Walk, but could involve Guzzle & Dance, as well. We may "shake our moneymakers," as the old song goes. Thus, please join me, Rod Smith, Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Diane Copeland for another edition of the Happy Hours with the most. The weather is just right, folks, for you to embark on that special voyage, and we encourage you to spend a few hours with us. Want to meet us after hours? Gimme a ring. If you don't have the number, ask me for it, and I shall provide.

Check our blog bor periodic updates: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ We look forward to seeing you!

Directions to Angles:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

xo, Dan Gutstein

don't take any wooden nickels!

2007-03-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

There will be no Drink & Walk this week -- owing to spring break at both GW and Mason and travel schedules, etc., of myself, Mnsr. Smith, and Mlle Nichols.

However, if any of you are at loose ends out there, give me a call or drop me an email and maybe we can hang out this week. I will tell you of my latest schemes, which include Turkey, the country, (thanks Lorraine!), among other things.

There's also a Thursday night reading up at Georgetown, the poetry of Yusef Komyunakaa, if I've spelt that right. Beers at The Tombs beforehand? Dancing and gateway drugs afterwards?

Too: I can publicly announce that my month-long concussion is now over. For those of you who don't know, a big dude (250-275lbs?) tried to jump me a month ago, (for my wallet), a struggle ensued, and we were both injured. All is well, now, though, according to Fishman The Physician. Fishman did say, however, that I shouldn't have been exercising and drinking in that time. Hmm.

Keep on fighting the good fight and don't take any wooden nickels!

xo, Dan

2007-03-06T22:56:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

It has been the Worm Moon recently, the full moon that typically accompanies balmier March temperatures (yeahright!), and thaws in the icy earth, during which, the worms emerge from months of tunneling deep underground. But this is an outdated piece of lore, I think, because what really happens during early March full moons is that Everywhere Pomeranian is drawn out of the ATM machine at the falafel joint. A cop tries to arrest all of us with a Peppermint Pattie instead of a badge. And lightning, if experienced in a controlled environment, such as the cab of a pickup truck traveling through the lonely midnights of North Cackalacky, can actually get you stoned. You'll pull off the highway for five bags of Cheetohs and see everything in that night vision military grainy-green. Indeed, folks, it's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World -- ever see that movie? Well, it only gets shown during the first week of March.

At Drink & Walk, we are trying to give the first full moon in March a new name: Let's call it the Pomeranian $20 Yipyap Mint Chocolate Bust You Lightning Bake Out Sid Caesar Moon, and I feel that this would be most accurate. To celebrate all the nuances of the lunar cycle, hoist a drink with me, Dan Gutstein, this Thursday, from 6:00 to 9:00 at Angles. If we have critical mass at 9:00 or so, we will decide on another watering hole to visit, or our name ain't Drink & Walk, damn it. Note that this week, Rod Smith and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols will be on special assignment in Georgetown.

Scheduling America's Appointments

2007-02-27T15:55:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

Years ago, the Secret Service referred to Bill Clinton at the POTUS, or President Of The United States. I was out on the town with some relatives, one of whom, at the time, worked in the White House. We were eating dinner when we became aware of a gregarious table to the side, dominated by a cigar-chomping, cowboy-hat-wearing, Texas-sounding woman. Hallos and salutations were then exchanged between our table and theirs, as my relative explained to me that this was the ROTUS, the Receptionist Of The United States. She would, in effect, perform receptionist duties like schedule America's appointments, file America's documents, and take down America's dictations, and when she answered the phone, she would say: "United States of America -- May I help you?"

We don't yet have a Receptionist Of Drink & Walk (RODAW) or a PODAW (President Of Drink & Walk) but if you need to reach Drink & Walk, you can always call me, on the cell. Email me, privately, if you would, (don't be shy), and I will gladly give you the number, if you don't have it already. When you call, I will say, "Drink & Walk -- May I help you?" And you may then state your bidness. This Thursday, among other things, we will be discussing Harper Lee's literary masterpiece, Tequila Mockingbird, from 6:00 until 9:30 at Angles, at which point, those in attendance will, collectively, decide on a second venue. Want to join us after hours? Ring me on the Drink & Walk Emergency Hotline for breaking news and information, thank yaw.

this mongoose-eat-cobra world

2007-02-20T15:36:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

As if it weren't enough for corporations and government to decide which soda flavors, for example, we want to drink, music we want to hear, wars we want to start, and so forth, we, additionally, as you know, need to suffer through the concept of "naming rights." It is the Verizon Center where The Whiz, I mean, Wiz play. Or The State of Washington, brought to you by Boeing. Or The Minimum Wage, brought to you by Wal-Mart. Rabbis in Israel are debating whether or not the name of the Israeli state-run airline, El Al, should appear on the Ten Commandments ("Thou shalt not bring strange aircraft before the Lord thy God or I shall smite thy deluxe falafel platter!") and authorities around the world are wondering whether the Pythagorean Theorem should be brought to us by Westinghouse; or whether manic depression should be sponsored by Glaxo Smithkline; or whether Bad Hair Days should be sponsored by Suave. Indeed, shouldn't Global Warming be brought to us, courtesy of GM, or the Tennessee Valley Authority? I mean, pin the label on the donkey's arse, damn it.

We haven't sold out at Drink & Walk, which is brought to you by Dan Gutstein, Rod Smith, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols. We are not corporations, but two men and one woman who know the value of an empty barstool, a drink in the hand, and our friends beside us, for hearty conversation. Should you want to write "Dan Gutstein," nevertheless, on your T-shirt, or "Beer," in thick, black ink, on your forehead, or decide that your System Of Likes And Dislikes should be brought to us by The Bio-Rhythm Machine On The New Jersey Turnpike, we will applaud your individuality in this mongoose-eat-cobra world we live in. You will always be welcome at Drink & Walk, which resumes this Thursday at 6:00.

Raunchy Launchy

2007-02-13T11:39:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

A recent poll shows that nearly 100 million Americans will use the phrase "Make love" in a number of connections, this VD, er, Valentine's Day. For example: "No, I don't know where the mongoose is, exactly, in the house, just this minute, but quick, make love to me, before he comes outta hiding!;" or "Once you get back with my Value Meals, and after I eat them, baby, and after I watch Astronauts Gone Wild 3: Raunchy Launchy, yep, I'll make love to you -- sweet sweet love, beneath the oleander!;" or "You have re-eroticized my radical politics and my nipples and my abstract expressionism and my intertextual conflation and my need for electric shock, so do me, I mean make love to me, you silly little freak!" It ain't no pretty picture, folks, and yet, at the same time, it is America what's out there.

At Drink & Walk, we come from the old school of the old country, and we mean it when we say "I love you," and we do, love you. There's only one thing, on earth, that loves you more than we do, and that thing, folks, is: The Bottle. Alcohol always loves you, and what better way to celebrate Valentine's Day than to join me, Rod Smith, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols as we bend another elbow in celebration of love and debauchery. If you must "Make love" before, during, and/or after Drink & Walk, we want you to know that we understand, and we support what must be a very personal decision for you.

Remember that this is a "full" Drink & Walk -- from Angles (6:00 to 7:45) we will go to the Black Cat (8:00 to 10:00).

Just Like Einstein Predicted

2007-02-05T14:21:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

As some of you know, it is not Monday, right now, but Thursday, according to Einstein's Theory Of Three Days Later Than It Really Seems To Be. And if this were next week, it would not be Monday right now, but Thursday. And you would not have an empty hand, but a beer, a martini, or a tequila in it, and it would be Thursday evening, Drink & Walk, just like Einstein predicted.

In fact, folks, when you join me, Rod Smith, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for the 2007 grand-reopening of Drink & Walk, on February 15th, you could also participate in a Drink & Walk initiative to prove or disprove another of Einstein's theories: If you sip your drink just so, and sit on your stool just so, and talk to your friends just so, well, then, it could Always Be Drink & Walk For You, No Matter Where You Are, No Matter Who You Think Yourself To Be.

As I will be announcing frequently over the next several weeks and months -- my tenure in the DC area seems to be coming to an end, especially seeing how GW is unwilling to renew my contract and that there may be some other schools out there in the world willing to offer me a contract. The point being -- please make plans to party with me while you still can. I will be stepping up my partying activities considerably in response to this rapidly unfolding situation.

We look forward to seeing you soon -- and Rod, Mel, and I want you know that we all love you Maaaaaadly.

Dan Gutstein

Happy New Year from Drink & Walk

2006-12-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

Emergency Drink & Walk Notification System

2006-12-21T14:08:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

The real problem with chilly weather is, of course, that the spider comes in(side) from the field and is pissed. I don't know about you but I prefer my spiders to be comfortable, not pissed. A spider sipping a margarita is a good spider. A spider hanging upside down, in a ratty web above your bed is a spider who needs to reckoned with. And the biggest mistake that people make, when it comes to Spiderly Reckoning, is that they waffle on the need for it. And then, what? Where is the spider? Where did he go? And try to get any sleep after that -- you've got a goddamn pissed off spider aloose in your bedroom. Aloose in your bedroom! Yeah, like you're even gonna turn out the lights after something like that. Pffff.

So, kill that spider or give it some perkocets and join me, Rod Smith, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for another edition of Drink & Walk. (Our co-host, Special Ambassador Steph Monte will be on assignment in Europe during this time). We will meet at Angles at 6:00 p.m. this Thursday.

PLEASE NOTE: Due to increasingly Draconian tactics at the Black Cat, we are no longer holding any Drink & Walk activities there. If you'd like to walk with us this week, please join us at Angles before 8:00, and then walk with us wherever we may be going. Last week, we went to the bar at El Paraiso and then downstairs at St. Ex. If you'd like a call, we are now offering Drink & Walk cellular phone service to those who may want to join us late. Send me your phone number and I will call you.

We will, in time, discover a permanent second site. You will be given directions via the Emergency Drink & Walk Notification System of that locale.

Directions:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

We will stay at Angles until about 7:45, at which point, we will walk over to the 14th St. Corridor. Probably, this week, to St. Ex.

Dan Gutstein

Will it make you feel better?

2006-12-12T15:47:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

Feeling a bit under the weather? Well, get over it. The weather will always be above you; you will always be underneath a thundershower or a sunny day or a snow flurry. Unless you are, perpetually, or occasionally cruising at, like, 36,000 feet, but even then, folks, there's a good amount of weather above you and be thankful for that. If weather was, instead, beside you, or beneath you, on a regular basis, you would have a lot more to worry about than a sniffly nose. So what can you do for a garden variety influenza? Consider, folks, the wonders of The Hot Toddy. Some parts whisky, some parts lemonjuice, some parts cloves, some parts hot water, some parts honey. Will it make you feel better? Probably not, but it sure does taste good. And what better time to try it out than this Thursday?

Myself, Rod Smith, Special Ambassador Steph Monte, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols have declared this Thursday to be Hot Toddy Night at Drink & Walk. If your name is "Toddy" and our panel of judges deems you to be hot, then you may join us and someone will buy you a drink. Otherwise, some, or all, or none of us will be ordering this wonderful drink and reveling in its mystical properties. Remember that great Irish proverb: S/He who drinks last, drinks best. We hope you can join us for one leg or both, but either way we look forward to hoisting a drink in your honor this Thursday at 6:00 or thereabouts.

2006-12-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

There are more windows being replaced all around D.C. than at any other time in the city's history. Whole buildings. On the same day. With giant cranes. And so forth. This isn't scheduled maintenance of any kind. This is due to a tremendous buildup of filth and muck. Ever hear the term "100 year flood?" i.e., A flood of such great magnitude, it is only seen every 100 years? Well this is 100 year Filth and muck. That is, the last great Filth and muck was seen in the famous Great Filth and Muck of 1906. There were some notable Filths and mucks since then, such as the Filth and Muck Scare of 1932, the Little Filth and Muck of 1958, and what has now been popularly termed as the Ronald Reagan Filth and Muck of 1980, but never anything like this. Say it as one word: Filthandmuck.

After you're done saying the word, come on out to join me, Rod Smith, Special Ambassador Steph Monte, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for another round of Drink & Walk. Everyone who's been to Angles knows that we have the best window view in town -- i.e., the greatest vantage point from which to watch the Filth and muck. I'm told that Filthandmuck could become a sporting event, kind of like the Iditarod dog races in Alaska -- only here the dog teams would run around the city, through Filth and muck. There are special dogs being bred for just such an environment, known as Filthandmuckers, and these dogs should be ready by 2008, should the blight persist that long.

Remember that this is a "full" Drink & Walk -- from Angles (6:00 to 7:45) we will go to the Black Cat (8:00 to 10:00.) Visit our blog for periodic updates: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ And we look forward to seeing you there!

Directions:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

We will stay at Angles until about 7:45, at which point, we will walk over to the Red Room Bar at the Black Cat, which can be found on 14th Street, between S and T Streets. Arrival time around 8:00/8:10 p.m., and we will be there, likely, until 10:00. Note: If there is a long line for the Black Cat, don't worry about that (it's probably for a show). Just go up to the door and ask for the bar. They'll card you and you can go in, to your right.

Dan Gutstein

Permanent Visitors

2006-11-28T15:04:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

It's important that you sign your permission slips -- as soon as possible -- for Thursday evening's field trip. We don't step out of the routine too often at Drink & Walk, but when we do, we like to think of it as "Health foods" or "Sport" or "Everywhere pomeranian" or "Educational experiences." In other words, if your parents ask you where you're going, or your friends do, or your "lovers whose asses are caked with sand," (spit Cheetohs here), then you can offer one of those excuses. "Sport, mama." Or: "Health foods, lover, whose ass is caked with sand." Or: "Educational pomeranians, my friend."

Join us this Thursday at 8:00 p.m., in the Marvin Center's third floor amphitheatre, on the GW campus, as Drink & Walk salutes Kevin Moffett, fiction writer extraordinaire, in town to read from his book, Permanent Visitors. I will be introducing Mr. Moffett and after the reading, a gang of us will walk up to Dupont Circle, where we will hoist a few in Kevin's honor, and in your honor, at Biddy Mulligan's, around 9:30 or 9:45. If you'd rather stay at home and lick your wounds, I'd say to you: You're gonna miss a great reading, but I'd understand, the idea, of one licking his/her wounds. It's a bad-ass world we live in, afterall.

Email me for directions, if you need them. First stop: Kevin's reading at 8:00 p.m. in the Marvin Center. Second stop: Beers at Biddy Mulligan's (the hotel bar where 19th St. runs into Dupont Circle) around 9:30/9:45.

Hope to see you all there.

Dan Gutstein

happy thanksgiving from drink & walk

2006-11-21T08:18:00.000-08:00

WORD ON THE STREET IS . . .

2006-11-08T19:42:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents,

As many of you know, I've not just been sick, but I've been illin' illin' illin'. illin'. illin'. And when I told that to my doctor, in precisely those words, he immediately prescribed some hiphop antibiotics, brought to me by a rock n roll nurse. "They went to my head / to my head / as I was lyin' in a hospital bed." If you, too, have been illin', then you, too, should ask your doctor about hiphop antibiotics. In no time, I was popping and breaking. My germs were rapping. And now it's time to walk down the street, where we can meet Little Willie, who's drinking Sneaky Pete.

Join me, (Yes, I will be at Angles this week), Rod Smith, Special Ambassador Steph Monte, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for another round of Drink & Walk, this Thursday at 6:00. We will recount all the Jump Blues era names for wine: Blackberry, Sweet Cherry, Sneaky Pete, Sweet Lucy ("Makes you feel real Joo-say!), etc., and we will drink of them. PLEASE NOTE: I, myself, cannot say, with any certainty, that I will join in the pilgrimage to the Black Cat, but said pilgrimage will happen, and will be fabulous.

Directions:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

We will stay at Angles until about 7:45, at which point, we will walk over to the Red Room Bar at the Black Cat, which can be found on 14th Street, between S and T Streets. Arrival time around 8:00/8:10 p.m., and we will be there, likely, until 10:00. Note: If there is a long line for the Black Cat, don't worry about that (it's probably for a show). Just go up to the door and ask for the bar. They'll card you and you can go in, to your right.

Dan Gutstein

2006-10-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

The problem with American politics, clearly, is that we don't have enough Vice Presidents. It seems clear to me, at least, that we should follow the excellent example that American corporations set, in the number of Vice Presidents that they employ. It's possible that, during the next presidential campaign cycle, we will see candidates with five or six dozen running mates. For example, Hillary Clinton could become the nominee and then choose 60 Vice President running mates. Al Gore, John Kerry, John Edwards Barack Obama, etc., could all be elected Vice President. We may see President Bush dispatch waves of Vice Presidents to trouble spots around the world. "The Prime Minister of Iraq," he might say, "has asked me to deploy an additional 15,000 Vice Presidents in the Baghdad area, and I've instructed them to pack their bags." The need for Vice Presidents may get so enormous, that we may, in fact, if push comes to shove, have to have a draft (of Vice Presidents). It may be that everyone will become a Vice President eventually: You, me, everyone.

Want a Vice President-free environment? Join me, Rod Smith, Steph Monte and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols this Thursday from 6:00 to 9:00, for a Drink -- but no walk -- at Angles in Adams Morgan. We will hold drinks aloft and debate the real meaning of the title. I mean, Vice President as in President of Vice? Now that's a job that *I'd* like to have.

Visit our blog for periodic updates: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ And we look forward to seeing you at Angles!

Directions:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

Fake Attack!

2006-10-10T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

I was at the dentist the other day, complaining about pain in my jaw. The dental hygienist asked me, "When do you feel this pain? And I said, "Well, of course, I feel it when I give The Fake Attack." She made a face. "What's The Fake Attack?" she asked. And so I did it -- opened my mouth wide and spread my arms out to my side, like a bird's wings. This startled her, and she blew air, from that little air blower, up her nose. "How frequently do you find yourself giving The Fake Attack?" she said. "I mean," she continued, "we call 'The Fake Attack' a 'regular checkup,' but that's us." And then I realized that Dentists and hygienists are not merely dentists and hygienists -- they deal with The Fake Attack all day long: patients, in chairs, going "Nnnnnnnn," with their mouths open in The Fake Attack. So, I would encourage you, my fellow Drinkers & Walkers, to get regular dental checkups, so that you can fine tune your own Fake Attack, and have it ready for general Fake Attack needs.

There will be many Fake Attacks this Thursday. Please join me, Rod Smith, Steph Monte, and Mel (Melissa) Nichols for the Drink & Walk Grand Re-Opening this Thursday evening, October 12th, starting at 6:00, when there will also be an unofficial celebration of my birthday, which happens to fall upon this week's Drink & Walk. I will be either drinking 38 shots or giving 38 Fake Attacks. Come on out and wish me a happy birthday. Among other things, we will be leading Drinkers & Walkers in Fake Attack home care: How to floss, brush, and brighten your own Fake Attack, for a lifetime of healthy Fake Attacks.

black cat black cat

2006-09-26T14:39:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

Before long, everyone one of us is going to have his/her own reality TV show. Like cell phones and tattoos. Everyone will have a show called "Dan" or "Cami" or "Sausages" or "Anna." It'll be all about you. How you comb your hair. How you answer the door. How you lie around. How you lie. How you treat your mother. How you insult a co-worker. There'll be judges. And people will be voted off your reality TV show. Like your girlfriend or your mailman or your mechanic or your dentist. You may even be voted off your own reality TV show, and then the show will, therefore, be about somebody else. Fabulous other reality TV shows are in the works, too: One called Cold Air, where people head out in search of a chilly day. Another called Young Short Republican Lawyer Dudes Gone Wild. And my favorite: Breakfast, which is all about a group of diner chefs who have to create breakfasts in trying environments: Under a beehive, underwater, under oath, and otherwise under duress.

Before you go to, or watch, Breakfast, join me, Rod Smith, Steph Monte, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that was voted Most Realistic Happy Hours In Washington. Where nobody gets voted out. Where we drink of the fruit of the vine, where we speak of the ganja of the valley, and where we walk upon the pavement of the municipality. Behold the Drink & Walk. Be it. Hold it. Drink it. And walk it off. Amen.

Remember that this is a "full" Drink & Walk -- from Angles (6:00 to 7:45) we will go to the Black Cat (8:00 to 10:00). We look forward to seeing you there!

2006-09-18T15:26:00.000-07:00

The economic theory of Perfect Competition suggests that a given market can support a vast number of similar enterprises and that such enterprises will always sell the same goods at the same price. Consider the market for Jumbo Slice slices of pizza. Indeed, on 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, one can order an Original Jumbo Slice, a Jumbo Slice, and what, a Double Secret Fabulous Jumbo Slice. They are all bigger than your head and cost two bits, do the Jumbo Slices. The theory suggests that we will see many more Jumbo Slices. Serious Ass Jumbo Slice. Long Republican Winter Jumbo Slice. Mumbo Jumbo's Jumbo Slice (Boomlay boomlay boomlay boom.) Fenty's Jumbo Slice. Marion Barry Jumbo Slice Weekend. That, or everything will become Jumbo: Jumbo Asylum, Jumbo Diner, Jumbo Meskerem, Jumbo Grill, er, Girl From Ipanema. Until it will be Jumbo America and we will have to load all the shotguns, grab all the brisket we can carry, and head for the hills.

Before we head for the hills, let us, this Thursday, instead, wish Poet, Translator and International Man of Intrigue, Generous Sir Hot Rod, The Legend, Stuff, Snuffy, D'Edge SmithSmithSmith ---- a Jumbo Birthday. So join him, me, Steph Monte, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for another edition of Jumbo Drink & Walk. Miscellany will ensue. There will be the usual toasts, banter, backclaps, drunken confessions, and beery optimisms. But mostly, we will celebrate the coolest cat we know, Mr. Smith, and we will Drink, Yea, We Will Walk In The Valley Of The Alley Of Our Pally. Or our name ain't Drink & Walk.

2006-09-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

There was once a village that became infested with rats, so the village elders brought in a few snakes to eat the rats, which they did, but then the village became overrun with snakes, so the village elders brought in a couple of mongooses (mongeese?) to combat the snakes, which they did, killing them, and eating a few, too, but then the village was beholden to the mongeese, and the village elders sat around thinking what to do. "Bring in Muhammad Ali?" they said. "Order an airstrike?" they said. "Pray to the volcano and to the hurricane, simultaneously?" They established a mongoose alert level, and raised that to orange, in that, there was an elevated threat of a mongoose. (Or the threat of an elevated mongoose.) You get the picture. The elders met, and talked, and the elders met, and talked. "This is nice," they said, "this meeting and talking. Maybe we should include alcohol." And pretty soon, their troubles didn't seem too bad at all. And so, do you see the morale of the story?

Whether you have rats, or snakes, or mongeese in your life, join me, Rod Smith, Steph Monte, and Star Emeritus Mel (Melissa) Nichols for another edition of Drink & Walk, the happy hours where there are no problem animals. We will tell some knock knock jokes, we will talk about the School of Hard Equinox, and we will make sense of an ever complex world. The point is, it's nice to sit around and talk. And if you can include alcohol as part of that, well, hey, then, now, yeahhhman.

Remember that this is a "full" Drink & Walk -- from Angles (6:00 to 7:45) we will go to the Black Cat (8:00 to 10:00.) Visit our blog for periodic updates: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ And we look forward to seeing you there!

Directions:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

We will stay at Angles until about 7:45, at which point, we will walk over to the Red Room Bar at the Black Cat, which can be found on 14th Street, between S and T Streets. Arrival time around 8:00/8:10 p.m., and we will be there, likely, until 10:00. Note: If there is a long line for the Black Cat, don't worry about that (it's probably for a show). Just go up to the door and ask for the bar. They'll card you and you can go in, to your right.

Dan Gutstein

2006-09-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

Are you bored? Yawning so wide someone could fit a pumpkin in your mouth? Do you play numbing mindless mind games like ---- Who would win: Mongoose vs. king cobra? Mongoose vs. Muhammad Ali? Mongoose vs. brick wall? Is it so bad that you rejoice over things that aren't really rejoice-appropriate? (Flicking on a light switch. Discovering your favorite deodorant. Watching the bus pull away without you.) What do you need? Do you need an activity? Yes, you do, according to a recent survey of "Happy Hours Technicians." 9 out of 10 such "technicians" advise you to seek such a regular activity at least once per week. But ---- Ladies and Gents ---- why attend any old "happy hours?" Huh? Don't.

Instead, join us for the first Drink & Walk of the new 2006-07 season: A Transition Toward A Greater Buzz. If you yawn, we will be there to pour a beer in your mouth. If you say: Mongoose vs. Muhammad Ali -- we'll say, "Split decision." If you're rejoicing over light switches and deodorant, well, then, we can't help you, at all, except that we can order that tequila shooter for you, saving you the trouble of ordering it yourself. As it turns out, we are sponsoring a Drink & Walk, this year, in Aix-en-CoupdeBoule, France, where it will be called Boire & Marcher. Today: Washington. Tomorrow: The World!

Remember that this is a "full" Drink & Walk -- from Angles (6:00 to 7:45) we will go to the Black Cat (8:00 to 10:00.) Visit our blog for periodic updates: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ And we look forward to seeing you there!

Directions:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

We will stay at Angles until about 7:45, at which point, we will walk over to the Red Room Bar at the Black Cat, which can be found on 14th Street, between S and T Streets. Arrival time around 8:00/8:10 p.m., and we will be there, likely, until 10:00. Note: If there is a long line for the Black Cat, don't worry about that (it's probably for a show). Just go up to the door and ask for the bar. They'll card you and you can go in, to your right.

Severe B.O. Warning Lifted

2006-08-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

The temperatures have dropped, and the National Weather Service has lifted its Severe B.O. Warning for the D.C. Metro area. Don't get me wrong -- there is still some heinous B.O. out there, just not at severe levels, according to the Office of Homeland Security, a federal agency that monitors the spread of B.O. throughout America. It was thought, at the height of the heat wave last week, that terrorists might attempt to destroy the Strategic Deodorant Reserve, so, heavily-strapped guards in three piece suits and mirror sunglasses were assigned to Old Spice factories throughout the world. The crisis has passed, fortunately, and the government, instead, has lowered the threat level to P.U. / 3, down from P.U. / 4. Still, Americans are urged to report suspicious B.O. to the authorities. If in doubt, once again, dial 911 and say "B.O."

After you do that, join us for a Drink -- but no Walk -- this Wednesday, at Angles. Among other things, we will be discussing the re-launching of Drink & Walk: The Second Season, the new Fettoosha Rocket (a missile that shoots Fettoosh salad at a range of 21 km), and the latest government scandal, in which the government is now denying that the earth is gradually turning into a giant shrubbery, the shape and texture of a burrito. We will be at Angles from 6 to 9. Please join us for all festivities.

Severe B.O. Alert for the Greater Washington Metropolitan Area

2006-08-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

The National Weather Service has issued a Severe B.O. Alert for the Greater Washington Metropolitan Area through Thursday night. This will affect pedestrians the most, especially when they encounter feral street kids or feral street adults. Severe B.O. can cause temporary blindness, switches in political sympathy(ies), and the sensation that one is putting on a costume--mask, flippers, trident, thunderbolt--for unknown reasons. Most people should avoid B.O. when they see it coming. However, if you have a relative or good friend who is not responding to shock treatment, bamboo slivers under the fingernails, or the dreaded water torture, you are, under these circumstances, encouraged to seek out B.O., in order to win back your loved one's attentions and affections. However, do this only in the presence of a trained B.O. professional: aka a barback, a community service aide, or a squeegee man. Do not try this at home by yourself. In the event of severe B.O. exposure, dial 911 immediately and say "B.O."

Due to the increased levels of B.O., we will be holding neither a Drink nor a Drink & Walk this Weds./Thurs. Perhaps if B.O. levels were to drop next week, we'll be back at it.

In the meantime, visit our blog for an update on EVERYWHERE MAN: http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/ Hint: He is one of the two blurry figures. True connoisseurs will know who is EVERYWHERE MAN and who is merely a man.

everywhereman

2006-07-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

[photo by kaplan harris]

Is there a guy you see walking all around Washington, wherever you go, and whenever you go there? Is he dressed in a coat but no tie? Does he have dark hair, is he "swarthy" in regard to his stubbly face, does he limp a bit, or stumble? Do you see him hopping off the bus right outside of your apartment building, outside the coffee shop with the newspaper under his arm, at the bar at the Tabard Inn, where a group of television journalists greet him with raised glasses? And I'm not talking about Blelvis, either, the Black Elvis. Maybe it's this --- maybe *you* are the person *he* sees all around town. Crossing the street, coming out of the Circle, bending down to tie your shoe. Hoisting a beer, buying a movie ticket, opening an umbrella in the rain. Is he The Aimless or are we The Aimless? Do we know ourselves anymore or do we lead secret lives, so secret, we don't even know them ourselves?

For the answer to those and other questions, join us for the next edition of Drink & Walk. By the end of the night, as some of you already know, the guy you see walking all around Washington usually turns up, at the Black Cat, for a beer. Even though he doesn't attend Drink & Walk, he does attend Drink & Walk, and it raises the question of whether we are attending our own gathering, or not. Confused? Beer helps. Tequila helps. Scotch helps. As does a Long Republican Winter Kit, which includes a set of earplugs, a flask of fermented beverage, a blindfold, a last meal request form, a pencil, a pair of chocolate undershorts, and assorted perverse diagrams.

[first posted 17 january 2006]

Dog Days

2006-07-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

2006-06-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,

It has rained so hard, the raindrops have become gallons, the puddles have become ponds, the lakes have become oceans, and I, Ladies and Gents, have become Amphibious. That is, I can type with both hands. And saying that, I've been getting really thirsty watching all that rain run down into the gutter. So thirsty, that the word Angles came to mind. That front table came to mind. And so, I did all the arithmetic, and lo, and behold, it is -- more than! -- mathematically possible for there to be a drink or two or three.

Do your part to stop the flood by us for a sporadic Drink -- but no walk, no Black Cat -- this Thursday at 6 p.m. Every beer you drain takes a pint out of the streets. Every shot you drink takes a shot out of the streets. Better than it being a drought, and us having to drink a pint of sand flavored with a wee little bitteen of fermented beverage. Rod, Mel, and I will also be collecting people, two by two, to ride our God-approved lean-to down the street, and into the promised land of .... Target. I really need to go to Target.

This has been an activation of the Emergency Drink But No Walk System. For periodic updates, please check out our blog http://drinkandwalk.blogspot.com/. In the event of a serious Drink Walk Emergency, you would be told where to Drink and where to Walk.

Directions:

We will arrive at Angles around 6:00 p.m., where there is a sparse crowd at that hour, a dollar off all drinks, including a wide selection of beers and fancy drinks, a jukebox that features Joy Division and Louis Jordan and just about everything in-between, before, and after, and empty pool tables, if you want to shoot pool. Angles can be found precisely where Belmont runs into 18th Street, in Adams Morgan, a couple blocks north from the intersection of 18th and U, a couple blocks south from the intersection of 18th and Columbia, next to a Jumbo ("there's a fly on my") Slice, up a short staircase. Look for the sign "Angles" above the window or door. We will be in the front room.

life's little pleasures

2006-06-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

Is it any pleasure in life? And if it is any pleasure, what is it? A catfish sandwich? The bus showing up on time? Musing on I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's cellmate? Calling the raise to see the flop? The prospect of some serious inflation? London broil? A nut cluster? A bigwig in the wigwam? Making a baking soda volcano in the sandbox? Putting a tack on someone's stool? In 10th grade architectural drafting class? While the kid went to ask the teacher a question? And the teacher came back? And said "Let's see what you got?" And hopped up onto the kid's chair? Where the tack was? And said "OOOOOHHH?" And grabbed his ass? You see? It is some pleasure in life. Uhum.

Take some pleasure. Join us for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours with stools, but no tacks. Beers but no inflation. And but a short walk from London Broil, nut clusters, and bigwigs. Flip a coin. Tails. See you there.

welcome to drink & walk

2006-05-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

"Irregular" ain't no river in Africa. It ain't no river anywhere, except, okay, in Arizona, but even then it ain't never got no water in it. Irregular ain't no holiday or no picnic or no bazaar or no emporium or no flea market or no op-ed or no milk money or no busfare. It ain't no way to be. The dictionary defines irregular as: (1) Raising a peanut butter sandwich to your mouth but missing; (2) Not really being in the army even though you think you're in the army; (3) Eating lots of toothpaste; (4) Skipping to your "Lou" when you ain't got no "Lou;" (5) Hanging out on a busy corner, all by yourself, sitting down, underneath a blanket; (6) A man named "Chester" or "Danger;" (7) Goin' down to Taco Bell for a load of chop suey; (8) A person *not* in a neighborhood bar or a neighborhood bar without any sense of desperation; (9) Not coming to Drink & Walk; and (10) There ain't no 10.

Join us for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours where you, too, can be a "Regular." We'll shout out your nickname when you show up -- "Iron Bladder!" -- "Sexual Chocolate!" -- "Sausages!" -- and show you the secret handshake, the secret wolf whistle, and the secret method of excusing yourself after a belch. (Actually, it's not so secret -- you just order yourself another drink.)

Drink & Walk -- the Happy Hours, the Action Figure, the Treatise, the Manifesto, the Lighthouse in a World of Murk.

welcome to drink & walk (avec baseball)

2006-05-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

I would submit to you that you haven't lived, until you've successfully heckled Jesse Orosco, the former left-handed pitcher who played, for 24 years, for the Mets / Dodgers / Indians / Brewers / Orioles / Cardinals / Dodgers / Padres / Yankees / Twins. Ah, it was a balmy evening in Baltimore, at old Memorial Stadium, and I was pissed, sloshed, wasted, looped. My buddy and I, Kenny, took in two ass pockets of whiskey and were acting like two asses in a pocket of morons out there behind the visiting team's bullpen.

The Indians were in town, 1990, and I told Jesse Orosco, who was warming up at the time, and I quote: "@#$%!!&&**@@!" This elicited nothing but a smile from the veteran pitcher. So, instead, I told Orosoco that I was gonna get down there in the bullpen and, and I quote: "Put a coat on his hanger." To which, Orosco stopped warming up, and with a big chew of terbacky in his mouth, yelled up to me: "Phook you!" A pitcher don't like his curveball being called "a hanger." And then the ushers ejected the guys behind us. Justice.

To put a coat on our hangers, hang out this Thursday for another round of Drink & Walk. Oh, we'll be Drinking & Walking at the appointed hours, but before that, at 1:05 p.m., we will be seated in the RFK Stadium cheap seats for the matinee game between the (g)Nats and the Astros. We won't carry in any ass pockets of whiskey, but we will cheer as the Astros groove the tittie whip, as the (g)Nats throw that high cheese and bat those dingers and peas.

Drink & Walk: The Happy Hours that takes you out to the old ball game. (Let us know if you'd like to join us at RFK.)

welcome to blelvis

2006-05-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Are you ever nostalgic for the days of Blelvis -- Black Elvis, who used to skulk around the streets of Adams Morgan and sing you any Elvis Presley song you could think of? I'm beginning to think that he's been a casualty of the "War on Terror" --
such that the Bush administration was terrified of a black man singing Elvis Presley songs, and had him deported to Guantanamo as an "enemy singer/impersonator." There's been a guy named Pelvis, the Peruvian Elvis, walking around Adams Morgan lately, but it's fishy. There's also someone going around named Whouis Armstrong, the White Louis, but that's not the same either. And Juke Ellington, the Jewish Duke. All of these men cannot be trusted, and are probably undercover NSA Agents, aka Non Steroidal Anti-inflammatory Agents, who have been sent out to reduce swelling in urban areas. But I'm here to tell you -- that's a violation of our constitutional rights.

If you, too, would like to swell in an urban area, join us for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that stands for an American's right to inflammation. All the other happy hours would rather that you apply an ice pack, or elevate your limbs, or take an aspirin. But not Drink & Walk. We want you to be roused, rowdy, ridiculous, omnivorous, and, in the words of Mike Tyson: "Ludicrouth." We want you to be so inflamed, it'll be ludicrouth how inflamed you are. i.e., Party for your right to swell, swelter, helter-skelter.

squid versus assclown

2006-05-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

Sharon Mesmer at the Flarf Festival, April 21, 2006
Medicine Show, New York City

look it up!

2006-05-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

I had called my father because I was going to brag that I knew of a half-Jewish guy who he didn't know of -- Paul Desmond, aka Paul Breitenfeld, the alto sax player famous for writing and playing "Take Five" with the Dave Brubeck Quartet -- but my dad, never batting an eyelash, threw Gene Wilder at me, and he's a real Jew, through and through, and I hadn't seen that coming. "How many times do I gotta tell ya, it's a stage name!!!" thundered my father, who, apparently, keeps a few such names in his back pocket, and takes them out when he needs to. It's a brass knuckles version of Who's A Jew that he plays, and if you want to play, yourself, you have to wake up pretty early in the morning. I called up Rod to complain, but he threw Jerry Garcia at me, and I was still reeling from Gene Wilder, and I didn't have writer's block, exactly, but "Jew's block" and I blurted out, instead, "god damn it," which is not a smart thing to say, in the grand scheme of Who's A Jew. Finally, I said, "Paula, Straight up Now Tell Me, Abdul," but it was too late, I'd already hung up the phone. I used to imagine certain people marrying certain people, and if she had married Kareem Abdul Jabbar, she would've been Paula Abdul Abdul Jabbar. How cool would that've been?

Want to share, with us, your favorite half-Jew? If so, then join us for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours where you can be a Jew, a half-Jew, a non-Jew, or someone who just likes to salt the meat. Ahem. Next week, Dad holds forth on the D.C. "tagger" Borf, thinking that, instead, the confused young man meant to say Barf, each time, but made a typo with the spray paint.

welcome to drink & walk

2006-04-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

The old phrase, "you are what you eat," is never applied properly. How about you are -- psychologically -- what you eat? Take squirrels. Who eat nuts. Have you ever seen a sane member of the squirrel family? Changing directions like there's no tomorrow, going up and down trees at the same time. Running out into the road just when a car is coming, in order to just get out of the way. And then what? No cars coming and not interested in crossing the street. That's what a steady diet of acorns'll get you. True, we're *all* a bit crazy, because we all eat some nuts. Those who eat many nuts are really screwed up, versus those who eat fewer nuts, who can, in the end, tie their shoes without a lot of commentary. If you indulge regularly in tossed salad -- well, then, you may become a little bitteen of a crouton flighty lettuce head vinegar between the ears. If all you eat are sides of beef, you become a meathead, Meathead. If you eat rocks, someone will shake you, and hear them rattling around up there. However, eating marbles can be good for you, so's you have some upstairs, at least, when the time comes for you to start losing them. Marbles but not rocks. Eh? If you drink beer and drinkdrinks, well, you become the drink, psychologically. Am I right?

To find out, join me in welcoming back my co-hosts for another round of Drink & Walk. Depending on what you drink, you could become Marlon Brando screaming "Stella!" You could become Alec Guiness. Captain Morgan, himself, with a ginger ale effervescing in his Buccaneer noggin. If you ate an apple and drank the proper brand of tequila, you could have a worm digging through the apple of your mind. You dig? Drink some vodka and become Mr. Potato Head. I, personally, prefer that brand of scotch, "Suave Son of a Biatch." Drink & Walk, folks: The happy hours where you become, psychologically, what you drink.

welcome to drink & walk

2006-04-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

10 reasons (+2) to hold your birthday celebration at Drink & Walk:

1. After the third or fourth drink, it's everybody's birthday.
2. Complimentary tittie twisters -- one for each year you've been on this planet.
3. Real, genuine regulars will genuinely regulate their stools on your birthday.
4. Real, genuine irregulars will, at irregular intervals, pontificate on the regularity of their needs.
5. If it is lonely in its glass, someone will be designated to make out with -- i.e., French kiss -- your beer.
6. We won't have any candles to light, but we will light as many cigarettes as years you are old.
7. In the process of blowing out your birthday cigarettes, you may, uh, shoot the "cherries" of said cigarettes out the window, into Everywhere Man's hair, onto Everywhere Moped, into a leetle patch of dirt, where it will root and grow a cigarette tree: Pallmallis Hightarris Youva-Come-A-Longawayis-Babychiliensis.
8. Oh yes there *is* such a thing as Everywhere Moped, though it is *not* captained by Everywhere Man, who is, first and foremost, a biped in his endeavors.
9. You will get so "high" in the classical sense of the word that you will be required to say "I taught I taw a twitty bird" as many times as years you are old.
10. We can sing birthday songs, we can pour the traditional birthday beverage over your head, and we can change into our birthday suits!
11. Note: There will be no, I repeat *no* massive spreading of peanut butter; sure, there can be isolated spreadings of peanut butter, but the only thing we can spread on a massive scale is nutella.
12. There is no 12.

For some serious birthday antics, please join us for Drink & Walk. After a few drinks it'll be your birthday, too. Drink & Walk: Where It's Your Birthday Every Week. Indeed, some of us Drink & Walk stalwarts are entering our seventies and eighties, already, proving, once again, that mankind is returning to biblical lifespans. Don't let it be five score and fifty ought millennia before you join us.

welcome to drink & walk

2006-04-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

After an accidental bit of research, it has been determined that Hurricane Bob has struck the U.S. mainland three times: Louisiana, 1979; South Carolina, 1985; and the Connecticut/ /Rhode Island border in 1991--leading many experts to speculate that Bob is still out there. There is some conjecture that last night's precipitation was, in fact, Thunderstorm Bob. Given that major storms are predicted to only increase in ferocity and frequency over the next several years, the National Weather Service has begun to identify these storms earlier on in their lifecycles. There will now be, for instance, Light Breeze Bob, Spotty Drizzle Bob, Mostly Cloudy Bob, Warm Front Bob, and 3-H Bob: Hot, Hazy, Humid Bob. Someone in the tropics was recently hit by a mucous traveling at a good rate of speed, and clearly that was due to Tropical Lugey Bob. There is no truth to the fact that the U.S. military is holding Hurricane Bob at the famous Area 51, in Roswell, N.M. Previous sightings include a brief shower in Kazakhstan, a sudden cloud in the Gobi, and a short lived squall in the Sea of Kamchatka, where a squad of Hessians was discovered preparing to attack a U.S. Man o' War with Revolutionary War era muskets, stockings, epaulets, and blunderbusses.

Recount your latest experiences with Hurricane Bob by joining us for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours with the highest barometric pressure. I, for instance, shouted out loud this morning when I thought that I was be-pounced-upon by Bob, but then realized, heh heh, that I was just in the shower. Or maybe it was Bob. Religions -- mainly founded by "low" "vulgar" people, but people nevertheless, ha -- are springing up, claiming 1979 as Year Zero, with everything either A.B. (anno Bobby) or B.B. (beforo Bobby). For some, Hurricane Bob is their Lord.

welcome to drink & walk

2006-04-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

Did anyone leave behind a Can of Whoopass at last week's gathering? We waited a long time -- at least 5 minutes -- before opening it up. It was like 8th grade again, you know, passing that Can of Whoopass back and forth out behind the jr. high school, right before the bell for homeroom. The sensation at first was not unlike a real ass-whooping; in fact, I relived a few ass-whoopings of my own, but then began to fore-see the ass-whoopings of others. I heard someone shouting "Nein! Nein! Nein!" again and again as Lewis I. "Scooter" Libby blindly fumbled for the soap on the floor of the prison shower. That Can of Whoopass did not wear off so quickly. We were still under the influence late Saturday night as we prevailed in the Ohio vs. Ireland Northern Virginia Foosball Championship. All I remember after that were copious amounts of chocolate cake, skrimps and coctail sauce, (yes, skrimps), and some serious mashed potatoes, with cheese. Thank you to our hosts.

Not enough Whoopass in your life? Then us for another round of Drink & Walk, the happy hours that Whoops Ass. We will meet you, greet you, and toast all your best qualities. In return, we would ask that you set down and stay a while, and open up your own Can of Whoopass. Don't forget to shake it, though. It ain't no fun to get all the Whoop. And though it's a helluva time if you get all the Ass, we don't want anybody's ghost leaving its body, on our watch.